SELF CARE: What does it really mean?

Content written and provided by Skye Nicholson of Soul’s Truth Coaching

Most of us do the self-care basics — shower, brush teeth, and take our vitamins. If we’re feeling luxurious, we might even indulge in a massage or a dead sea mud mask once in a while.

Maybe we think of self-care as the time after the kids go to bed, when we curl up on the couch with a glass of Chardonnay and the latest episode of Stranger Things. Or it’s the Girl’s Night we’ve been planning for a month, and the 2 hours of kid-free shopping at Target.

Self-care often gets confused with numbing out: binging Netflix, drinking wine, scrolling Pinterest, eating Oreos from the bag. And while these things are not necessarily ‘bad’ (in small quantities), they aren’t refueling our energy reserves and replenishing our rapidly depleting bucket of empathy.

Unfortunately, the avoidance tactics we fall back on don’t do the job of actually relieving our stress. The stress is still there, in our bodies, just shoved a bit farther down. If we continue to neglect real self-care, we just pile up more and more inner garbage, which leads to ongoing anxiety, and can even manifest in physical problems.

Sky Nicholson photographed by Angela Jackson for Columbus Magazine.

Real self-care, on the other hand, allows that daily stress to leave our bodies. Real self-care means taking some of that nurturing, giving energy that is constantly being doled out to everyone else in our lives and turning it back towards ourselves. Do things that recharge us, wake us up, and allow the stress of the day to transform, not just numb it away or push it aside.

 Real self-care looks different for everyone. Caring for each unique self means allowing time for the things that truly fill our cups.

For me, these activities are yoga, riding my bike, hiking, laying in the grass, venting to my best friend, and singing loudly in the car with all the windows down. When I’m feeling stressed or drained from attending to everyone else’s needs, these are the things that bring me back to myself.

 Admittedly these aren’t always the things I always WANT to do when I’m feeling overwhelmed and depleted. I spent years drinking away my fatigue, drowning my stress at the bottom of a wineglass and muting my anxiety with episode after episode of nighttime TV. Even now, 5 years sober, I still find myself staring at my iPhone after a long day, looking for cat videos.

But I am getting better at catching myself when I’m numbing instead of nourishing. Just two more Oreos, I tell myself, and then I’ll go walk around the block.

-Content written and provided by Skye Nicholson of Soul’s Truth Coaching